Don't fool me
by kagomekurosaki98
Summary: When Rangiku is doubted in the most insulting ways, all she hopes for is that the last person she holds on to, Hitsugaya, doesn't leave her. and so, fool her once shame one you, fool her twice shame on her. its m just in case ( new to this site so idk). there will be so much fluff... and steam ;p
1. Chapter 1

The Hitsumatsu chronicles

Hey peeps, I'm honestly really late to this site, but, what can I say, I'm a procrastinator and proud. : P… well, first fanfic, don't be gentle.

Ch.1

The office was as empty as she had hoped it would be. With one last sweep of the area with her eyes, Matsumoto let out a loud sigh. It had been a long couple weeks. First she had attacked her friend, to defend the man she had always admired. But he only left her. And after much fighting, and a very, very clear display of who the real enemy was, she had been crushed to see that Gin was accomplice to the enemy.

Her Brother…Had left her.

Her savior…Had left her.

He had left her.

She felt so betrayed. Though most of all, she felt alone. All the friends she had did nothing for the feeling. All the sake she drank could not stop it. In fact, it would replenish that river. Yes, a river, that's what it felt like. The feeling of loneliness, like a river, slowly carving a path in her body, it chipped away more and more of her everyday.

She heard the door closing, signaling her taicho's entrance.

So, with a last, loud, resigning sigh, Matsumoto Rangiku returned to what she did best. Plastering a fake smile on her face; and slacking off.

"Matsumoto, get back to work!" Her taicho said in his usual hash tone. Of course, having to keep up with appearances, she replied with:

"But its so boring Taicho. How about a break?" she got off the office couch and walked over to his desk. She did not miss the ticking of the vein on his face. Oh yeah, she was definitely keeping up with appearances. "You look like you're going to explode with all this paperwork you insist on doing!" she finished.

"The paperwork I _insist_ on doing?!" That vein looked like it was about to pop, Matsumoto thought as she ignored her captain's chiding. "This is all work you left me to do since you always _insist_ on taking breaks. I don't know why I haven't requested a new fukutaicho." Hitsugaya kept reprimanding her, completely oblivious to her obsolete ignorance. "I swear I am going to ex-"

They both turned to see the hell butterfly addressed to them. Matsumoto's face contorted in confusion and Hitsugaya could only think of what the Soutaicho wanted this time.

"Matsumoto Rangiku, fukutaicho of the 10th division, and Hitsugaya Toushiro, captain of the 10th division, are requested by central 46 immediately." The hell butterfly flew away once its message had been delivered.

"Central 46?" Hitsugaya muttered in confusion.

Matsumoto only wandered why she was requested too, since good things never happened at central 46.

And with another loud sigh, this time being emitted from the both of them, they left for central 46.


	2. Don't scare me

Don't fool me

Ch.2

Sorry for the wait, high school isn't exactly what it's caught out to be… Is that even the phrase…? O.O. lol

So Ch2…

Enjoy

Ps.: If you say mom backwards, your mother may answer.

CH2

Rangiku's POV:

_I don't know…_

_I don't know…_

_I don't know…_

That's all I kept repeating in my head. Every time I had a question, it was the only answer that would come up.

Why had central 46 requested us?

Did it have to do with the betrayal of Aizen?

Would this end badly?

And again, the same answer came to me.

_I don't know…_

_I don't know…_

_I don't_ -

"Matsumoto," My captain's gruff voice woke me from my reverie. I looked up at him realizing we had arrived.

"What do you think is going on Taicho?" I said, making sure I did not let a drop of worry escape my lips.

And with the same answer I had been giving myself while we had traveled here, he answered: "I don't know…"

As we walked toward the end of the corridor, I felt my palms begin to sweat. I had never seen central 46 before… In fact, who has? Their faces were rumored to be covered so their decisions would not affect their safety.

We stepped out of the corridor and into a spacious room. In front of me were long semi-circular, cement tables. Each supported another like pyramids. At the tables sat People, I could not tell gender, behind small curtains installed in front of them. So this was the new central 46. After Aizen had slaughtered the previous ones, they had to be replaced immediately. Although for safety purposes no one knows who they are.

Then, it hit me, like a ton of bricks actually. I had been looking up and had not realized I was surrounded by other captains. In fact, I was the only fukutaicho in the mist of this fiasco. I became more nervous then before.

"T-Taicho," I bowed in respect as I saluted each taicho. "Sou-Taicho." I bowed in respect for the head captain.

I kept wondering why I was the only fukutaicho present. Had the hell butterfly gotten the message wrong? No, impossible. Then why was I here?

I turned to face the long, semi-circular tables in confusion. That's when I became frightened. The Taichos all turned also, as if waiting. Then someone on the tables spoke up.

"Rangiku Matsumoto," that's when I really freaked out.

We were all here for me.

Huh, huh?

Review guys. also thanks for those who faved my story. Ill make it good just for you two.

I made a cliff hanger, but I'm typing, and posting the next chapter right now, soooo…

Hang tight.


	3. Don't believe me

Don't fool me

Ch 3

Hey guys, I posted the last chapter like, 30 minutes ago, so nothing new to say…..

Don't jump in the ocean, sharks live there

**Recap: **

**We were here for me.**

CH.3

_Did I do something wrong. _

_Would they punish me for drinking too much sake?_

I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong so far and it made me more nervous to be here. I was completely in the dark.

"Y-Yes?" I answered with a question.

"You were summoned here today because of your relationship with Ichimaru Gin." At that, I stiffened. I had been trying my hardest to get over the fact that, though looked at him like a brother, he would never look at me like a sister. He left. I was worth nothing to him.

"Ichimaru Gin is gone. There is no relationship." I almost spat out. My tone was bitter and harsh, as if the person talking to me was the one to abandon me.

"SILENCE!" The person roared.

I straightened my posture and closed my mouth to show him, at least that's what his voice indicated, that he had my full attention.

"You have been summoned because we believe that you are a danger to Seretei because of your relationship with the traitor," I was taken aback. I, Rangiku, a danger. If Gin had left me did they not understand I would play no part in whatever destruction he had planned? Even if he hadn't left me behind, I was too loyal to betray soul society like that. I had no idea what they meant by "danger".

"What do you mean, 'danger'? I have not and will not aid him." I retaliated.

"SILENCE!" he boomed once again. "We knew you would not tell us the truth," he continued. Then as to address al the captains around me, added, "we central 46, request a pelvic exam done on Rangiku Matsumoto. This decision was made anonymously and the order will be effected immediately. Unohana-Taicho is the head this procedure and reports the results as soon as discovered. Should she test positive for the pregnancy, Matsumoto Rangiku is to be returned to central 46 and punishment will be handed down." He spoke in a final tone, as if he knew we would return.

Pregnant. They thought I was carrying Gin's child inside of me.

Why? Was it the way I dressed, or talked?

I was appalled. I did not miss the look of surprise on each captain's face. Even Kuchiki, had small twinge of surprise on his face, as a frown rested in between his brows.

"This order shall be carried out accordingly." The Sou-Taicho responded. As if on cue, the captains grabbed my arms and started toward the long hallway that had lead me into this nightmare.

"W-what, y-y-you don't believe them do you?" I asked. They did not answer and I knew I was in for it. How could they not trust me? "Oy, unhand me." I yelled looking up at who had my arms. Soi-fon Taicho was holding one of my arms in her hands, and my Taicho the oth-

My Taicho, I hadn't even thought of that. He would get me out of this. I knew he trusted me. I protected him as much as he did me. A wave of relief passed through me as I looked up to see his eyes. Yes, he had gotten taller. He was very much taller then me now. He had built up so much raetsu while training, to distract himself from Momo's fall that it had expressed itself in his looks. He was taller, taller then Kuchiki taicho, his jaw was squarer, a temptation which would call out to my hands every time I looked at them. His hair was longer as if to accentuate his face's shape. The white color that graced his hair seemed whiter, almost brilliant. My eyes roamed over every detail I went through, leaving the best for last. His eyes. We were almost at the exit now, and once we got there it would take seconds for the captains to shunpo to the fourth division and…

I finally laid my eyes on his, and I shattered. I did not break, not, that would not be cruel enough. My relief turned into panic as I looked into my taicho's eyes.

Disgust, that's what they held. Disgust for me. I stopped squirming for a minute, and soon realized my mistake. We had reached the end of the tunnel and now it was off to the fourth division. In a couple seconds we were on a roof, then another, then another, and finally that fourth division sign was welcoming us. I was terrified now. I was not talking. I could not talk. I wanted so badly to yell it out. To tell them, but the fact that my captain did not trust me seemed to have taken my voice box too. I kept trying and trying to get it out of myself. The captains kept walking and finally we were in the fourth division. The words were there, but my brain seemed to stop transmitting when it came to moving the muscle around my lips. I just wanted to tell them.

I snapped back to the scene as I was laid in a bed. I looked around me and realized we were in a confined room. It seemed they wanted o keep this as secretive as possible. I started to squirm, trying to get out of the hold I was in. I felt something around my waist and just under my breast was a strap that was now holding me in place, on the bed. The white sheets were moving along with me as I kept squirming.

"Ok." Unohana-taicho said, and at that moment both the captains that had dragged me here lat go. Hitsugaya taicho automatically walked over to a wall where all the male captains it seemed had migrated and were watching me.

Two women, walked into the room. I guessed they were going to be in on this too. Unohana-taicho gave me an apologetic look. She believed me! She was on my side. The two women who had come in pulled stir-ups from under the bed and I started to panic. I squirmed more as I felt them strap my feet into each, immobilizing my legs so that they were spread apart. A large black sheet was placed on top of my legs as if to give me privacy.

Pshh. Privacy in this situation. I had to tell them. If I didn't… If I didn't then…

"You guys have to come to your senses." I yelled again, hoping, praying that someone would stop this. Secretly I hoped Hitsugaya taicho would. But he stood there, at his corner, on the right side of the room where he and the other captains standing with him, could only see my head, torso and the shape of my spread legs under the sheet. Only Unohana taicho could see my secret garden. If I looked up, I could look directly into his eyes, but I was terrified of that disgusted look in his eyes.

My heartbeat accelerated tenfold as I saw the trey of tools one of the women handed Unohana taicho. I wasn't just squirming now, I was about to burst out of my skin, I was about to cry.

I felt one hands at the hem of my hakama and looked up to see Unohana taicho, with another 'sorry' falling from her eyes, lift my bottom up as one of the women pulled the hakama down. I was fully exposed, well, to them. I wanted nothing more then to tell them. If I didn't tell them, this pelvic exam would happen.

Unohana taicho was now seated on a stool, in between my legs. With another look of regret on her face, she sighed.

"Lets begin." She said.

I thought I knew what was coming. I tried to prepare myself. But as the 12 taichos watched as Unohana was about to do this to me, I realize, nothing could have prepared me for what ensued next.

**A/N: Hey guys again **

**So I loved this chapter, read and review. Also, I think (I'm not sure) the next chapter will have so rated m scenes (not sex, you horn dogs), violence and cussing counts as m right? **

**Anyhow… until tomorrow… or not, ill try my best to do 2 chapters tomorrow. **

**3 KAKU**


	4. Don't hurt me

Don't fool me

CH 4

…

I am so , so , so , so , so sorry for how long it took o update… I took all these college classes and im a bit overwhelmed you see. Well s an apology you guys get…

A GIANTIFIC HUMONGANTIC CHAPTER n

Enjoy :p

….

3rd person's POV..

She, Matsumoto Rangiku never thought in a million years she would have to embarrass herself as much as she was about to. Either she told, or be forever labeled as a traitor.

It was obvious which choice she had to pick. But she could not get the Captains' attentions. How could she tell them if they had already made up their minds about her. And as upset as she was, she didn't feel betrayed by the other captains, no. in fact, she understood that they were just trying to avoid another Aizen repeat. But Hitsugaya, the one she trusted, the only one she would ever hope to stand up for her had let her fall I he grasp of humiliation. The look of disgust in his eyes only made to hurt her more. She didn't mean to make him hate her. Why did he hate her? Why now when she needed all of his support?

She continued to squirm on the table, trying to get out of the grip of the stirrups and the tight , very tight belt holding her waist on the bed. She was sweating and, As Hitsugaya and Byakuya noticed, she looked like a trapped animal that was beginning to panic.

Unohana-taicho had gotten her equipment ready. He really did not believe Matsumoto was carrying Gin's child. She wanted to get this over with as fast as she could to put the Fukutaicho out of her misery. She new that if Matsumoto was pregnant, her cervix would face up , away from the canal, to protect the fetus. All she had to do was examine that and she could stop feeling guilt every time she saw the betrayed look on Rangiku's face. So with a last sigh, Unohana slipped on her gloves and nodded to the nurses.

" We will le you know the results in just a few seconds," one of the nurses announced to the 'spectators. She thought it was cruel , making a fukutaicho wither so in front of a whole room of taicho. The nurse grabbed her long brown hair and twirled it around her finger, just imagining how humiliated the fukutaicho in front of her was.

For a moment the room was silent, not a sound was emitted by anyone but the grunts and whimpers from Mastumoto. This was her chance to tell them.

"Please! I have neve-" Matsumoto stopped as crippling pain ripped trough her. It was so terrible, that the actual pain took a moment to register, and for just a second, while her eyes widened and a gasp escaped her lips, she did not feel it.

All the spectators did not understand what was happening. At first Matsumoto was saying something. But just as she was phrasing her thoughts, a loud gasp replaced the words. The whole time the captains' eyes were trained on Unohana-taicho, waiting for her to nod her head and giving them a go to report the traitor.

But instead of a nod, they found Unohana looking up at Matsumoto, wide eyes and mouth agape. She looked terrorized… no, more like… more like disbelieving and guilty. And in that short moment in which Matsumoto didn't feel the pain, Unohana-taicho, a captain, let a tear fall from her eyes.

…

A loud, terrifying scream echoed in the closed off room. It was a scream of agony and betrayal. The taichos', although being able to withstand almost anything, covered their ears. But what they saw was even more terrifying then that scream. Blood. Blood was everywhere it could reach if it had walked out from between Matsumoto's legs. Blood on Unohana-taicho's hands and examination attire. Blood on the floor, dripping from the table. Blood on the white sheets. Blood… blood… blood.

Another scream came from Matsumoto. This time though, it was accompanied by a sob. Then more sobbing, and more screaming . she was writhing on the table , writhing and screaming… screaming and sobbing… sobbing and writhing. Tears were pouring down her face like a dam had burst, and nothing she did would stop them. She did not fully understand the meaning of the pain, but she knew that a fukutaicho had high pain tolerance, ad not only would the captains see her as a traitor , they would see her as weak.

Unohana-taicho was frozen. Tears were swimming down her face. Then she heard Matsumoto scream again and she jumped to action. She knew she would get in loads of trouble for yelling at the Soutaicho but the guilt was holding her at zanpacto point and she would be damned if she hurt this child more.

"OUT!" she yelled at the captains. " OUT NOW !" she mandated ( A/N I know big words ~.~)

The captains were taken by surprise, Unohana always had her cool , and no one had ever seen her yell.

The nurses who realized what was happening hastily escorted the captains out of the room. When they came back , one of the , the one with the short blue hair , grabbed a screaming Matsumoto's flailing hand and let out a grunt when Matsumoto sqeezed her pain onto her.

"Fukutaicho, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't know." Unohana was saying , but a screaming Matsumoto heard not of it . Only the Pain registered in her mind now. Only a world of pain and betrayal was understandable, it was the only things she could make out.

" Make the pain stop," Matsumoto yelled to no one, "please, make it go away" she sobbed .

" I'm so sorry." Unohana-taicho kept whispering as the blue haired nurse tried too sooth a writhing, screaming, sobbing Matsumoto Rangiku.

/

*In the hallway outside the room, with the captains. *

"What is the meaning of this?"

Surprisingly, it was not the Soutaicho who was so mad, it was Sui-feng. She was a captain, they all were, and even though Unohana was their equal, she had still disrespected them.

Kuchiki along with Ukitake and Shunsui where sitting on a bench across from the door. Ukitake and Shunsui, however much they disagreed with what had been done to the fukutaicho of the tenth division, understood how another attack on Seretei would not be convenient. And so they had stayed quiet the whole time.

Kurotsuchi on the other hand, enjoyed, no, loved the scream of pain that Matsumoto emitted. He, being himself wondered what kind of experiments could cause screams like those.

"We must let Unohana do what she does best; we don't even know what is going on." Shunsui responded, even though, with his hat covering his face, he looked asleep.

The Soutaicho was standing by the door, hunched over his cane, like a weak man, though that would be a deadly assumption. He could take his enemies and burn scars into them like volcanoes had burnt the landscape when he was still young.

Hitsugaya, unlike all the other calm captains [besides a fuming Sui-feng] was pacing. He was confused, mad, betrayed, unnerved, all at once. He was disgusted by Matsumoto that was for sure.

He was thoroughly, and utterly disgusted with the idea of Ichimaru Gin's hands all over Mastumoto. His disgustingly creepy grin as wide as ever as he took h-

"Damn it!" the young taicho yelled.

Everyone turned to look at him. Some from curiosity {Kurotsuchi}, others surprised that the usually blank taicho was wearing his feelings on his sleeves.

"What is taking so long?" He demanded. He might be disgusted, but he was also worried, and for moment he wavered in his anger. He remembered clearly the first time she screamed . He could almost feel her pain. Even when they had been escorted |kicked| out, they could hear her screams. They could even hear her begging.

" _Make the pain stop," he heard Matsumoto yell,, "please, make it go away" she'd sobbed . He had never heard Matsumoto so vulnerable. He wanted to barge in there and kick the pain in the ass. But more than anything he wanted those results. He needed to know… he had to know… So, without saying a word he stayed out in the all , pacing in front of the door, listening to her teary begs. _

*1 hour and 21 minutes later*

The screams had stopped. Maybe an hour ago, maybe thirty minutes. But everyone stood outside, waiting.

Finally, after an hour and twenty one minutes that Hitsugaya had counted, Unohana stepped out of the room. She was still covered in blood…

_Matsumoto's blood, _Hitsugaya thought.

"I-" He started but was interrupted by Soutaicho Yamamoto's booming voice.

" The results, Unohana taicho," he demanded.

Unohana looked down and in a quiet voice responded, "She isn't carrying Ichimaru Gin's child."

That seemed to lessen the tension, but then Shunsui asked the question that revived the uneasiness.

"Why was their so much blood? You said we would have a result in seconds yet we have awaited more than an hour." He asked without a trace of worry in his voice. Shunsui wasn't fond of her close relation with a traitor, but he still cared for Matsumoto. After all, They had to have each others back, even though he could hold his sake better than her, a fact he had not withheld from anyone. He knew if he had a bad day, a couple rounds of sake and Matsumoto's terrible advice would brighten him up.

" We made a mistake," Unohana whispered. She looked upset, her eyes were puffy. She had been crying, and the captains now noticed.

"What is it Unohana?" Ukitake asked, after coughing a bit.

"we made a mistake." Unohana started again. " we should have listened to her. She tried t-" her voice broke, and she cleared her throat, " she tried to tell us. She has never given herself to a man." Unohana finished her head bowed in shame.

Gasps erupted in the hall. No one would have guessed. Not to call her a harlot, but Matsumoto was not the most modest woman. They had just assumed-

Assumed… They had assumed that she was pregnant. They had assumed that it was Gin's. they had assumed that she was a traitor. They had treated her like a traitor. Nothing short of trash, that's what they treated her like. They had dragged her to the fourth division and strapped her on a bed like an animal. Assumed, they had assumed Matsumoto was not pure.

" I was supposed to look for her cervix," Unohana started again " but she was not deflowered and I r-" Unohana took deep breath , " I ri-, I ripped through her hymen." A tear fell from her brown eyes. " the rupture was too sudden, and not the way it was supposed to be. She was gushing blood everywhere. The pain must have been unbearable" she was whispering at that point. " We made a mistake, and now her throat is bleeding from her screaming. We tried pain killers, but nothing worked fast enough. We made a mistake."

Yamamoto was surprised to say the least. He was not sure about the baby , but a virgin Matsumoto… Oh well as much as he felt bad, he had to report to central 46.

He would apologize later.

"We must report the results." He said. " Everyone, report to central 46. Hitsugaya, take care of your fukutaicho."

And with that, excluding Hitsugaya and Unohana, they shunpoed away.

Looking at Unohana, Hitsugaya let his uneasiness show.

"Be careful with her, she could be traumatized." Unohana warned. "I'm sorry." Se said once more. "We made a mistake."

Rangiku's POV

He walked in. Hitsugaya walked in. he looked at me and I looked down.

"Matsumoto," he whispered.

I was laying in a fetal position. My core and lower stomach were still throbbing, painfully too. But my body had become accustomed to the pain. The tears had stopped falling, but hearing him say my name, with so much care and guilt, broke me again. The tears fell, but I didn't move. I was terrified to move. I didn't want the pain to come back.

Hitsugaya-taicho pulled up a chair next to her and sat his tall figure in it.

"Matsumoto," he tried to take my hand, but I pulled it back, causing me to move a bit. A whimper left my lips as the throbbing increased. It hurt. I didn't want to feel it again. After a few seconds the pain subsided.

"Are you ok?" He asked, worry seeping into his voice .

I just kept looking at the white tiled floor.

" Matsumoto, please." He said. He was lying. I knew it. Gin left me, and Hitsugaya was just covering up his hatred for me. I didn't want to see the look of Disgut in his eyes again. It terrified me. I didn't want t see it again. I kept imagining those hateful eyes. No more. No mor-

" Matsumoto, please look at me." He said. I still couldn't. I couldn't risk seeing those eyes. I used to love their radiance, but now… now , I was terrified of them. The only one, the only one I ad left.

_I'm alone,_ I realized, _all alone._

" Matsumoto," Hitsugaya-taicho slipped from his chair and kneeled by the bed. His face was closer to mine now, but still I wouldn't risk seeing those eyes. " Please." He said.

"I-" I scratched out. My throat wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was still sore.

"I'm-" I tried again, still not looking in his eyes. I saw his hand try to take mine and pulled back again. But this time he kept moving, he moved closer to me.

" What is it?" He asked.

A/N : Muhahahahahahaha. You didn't see that coming did you.

Sorry guys, I wanted CH. What does matsumoto want to say to Hitsugaya, and a very heartfelt conversation… for someone.


	5. Don't lie to me

**Don't fool me Ch. 5 **

**Hey guys… so I know my authors notes are not that… easy to read… but I usually just don't concentrate on them as much...also, I'm all into this gynecologist stuff because I always wanted to do that for a living, but then I found neonatal surgery so, I'm practicing on paper :P.**

**I am so so sorry for the wait but I finally finished my college class and exams are underway so… **

**Anywho, I own nothing. If I did then Rangiku would be pregers with Tosh's baby… Also the Soutaicho would smile more often… so never.**

**On the your extremely long and hopefully good chapter… **

**Don't forget to review **

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Rangiku's POV: 

I wanted so badly, to feel loved. To feel the warmth of someone being next to me, who had my back, no matter what?

I thought I was loved. I thought I had that person. I thought…

"I…" I tried again. Why did I hurt so badly? My throat was sore. No… sore doesn't begin to describe it. I was so cold. I felt cold and empty. I feel like…

Why did I feel like that?

"What is it Mastumoto?" Hitsugaya asked me again. He was still kneeled, besides my bed, trying to understand the words that were like… that were like her. Broken and incomplete, leaving no meaning to what she was trying to convey.

_What did I do wrong? _I asked myself_. Did I do something wrong?_

_Maybe it's the way I dress? Obviously it's the way I dress… I didn't mean for my uniform to be so form fitting. Maybe I said something wrong one day, and people started to look at me differently, and I didn't notice. _

_Of course I didn't notice_. I thought_. I'm an Idiot. I should have known I wasn't good enough to be loved. I was never good enough… _

I kept thinking, trying to pinpoint something I did to Gin to encourage him to leave me. Even something I did to Hitsugaya to make him hate me so.

"Matsumoto!" I heard my taicho yell at me. I flinched at the worry in his voice. Why was he pretending? Before I died I wasn't wanted. I would understand it if he didn't want me around. But I hated people who pretended. They were all like Gin. Only pretending until they were tired of doing it, and she knew she would be heartbroken when they showed their true colors.

"I'm…" I tried again, my throat feeling a little stronger. "I'm a-all… I'm all a-alone." I said in between gasp. I was so scared. I didn't want to be alone again. I hadn't been alone since Gin had saved me. I had surrounded myself with friends so that I would never again feel like this. But I guess hat didn't work out. I felt so scared. I felt like a soldier in the midst of war without any armor… In fact, without any clothes. I wasn't only scared, I was humiliated. I was so humiliated that Hits- my taicho didn't help me. I was all alone. I have always been alone. I was meant to be alone. I was all alone… and scared, so scared.

"Matsumoto," I heard Hits- my taicho whisper. He moved again to take my hand, but I only pulled back again. I gasped and whimpered when rippling pain shot from my lower region and my stomach clenched. "Please Matsumoto" my taicho whispered again. "Look at me" He asked.

I couldn't. I wasn't sure if I ever could again. I didn't ever want to see that look in his eyes again. That look, was one of the only things I remembered from my life in the living world. The hatred in them, as if they were screaming at me for existing. Those eyes, I couldn't, I wouldn't.

"I'm a-all alone…" I said again. I was trying to grasp the concept of being back to square one… where everyone hated me, and I was "all alone" I repeated before the tears started again. "I'm all alone." I repeated.

A broken sob escaped my lips. Followed by another, then another. I was so scared, I felt so vulnerable. This wasn't fair, I couldn't die alone, just to end up alone again. I kept crying, until my sobs shook my body causing my stomach to clench again. A yelp escaped my lips as my hand clenched the bed sheet.

"Matsumoto, no, no," My taicho reacted once I yelped, as if he had been deep in thought. "No your not, I'm right here." He said, causing me to cry harder. Why wouldn't he just stop feeding me lies? I was tired of being lied to. I wanted out; I wanted to go home, to the comfort of my blankets. I wanted not to be scared, and the only way that would happen right now would be under my own blankets.

"M-Mastumoto!" my taicho said as I sat up, leaving the bed (I had been untied a while ago). I swung my feet over the bed, and tried to stand. The minute I was upright my stomach clenched like it had earlier, and between my thighs was a throbbing mess. I fell to the tiled floor at the same time as a scream left my lips. The pain was constant now, almost like earlier, excruciating to an inhumane level.

"Matsumoto!" my taicho exclaimed as he got off his knees and walked around the bed to squat in front of me. He reached for my hand but before he could touch me he stopped. His eyes widened and he called out, "Unohana! Unohana!". I didn't understand what was gong on... That is, I didn't until I looked down Blood was all over the floor, in an extending pool, trailing up my thighs, to its source. I didn't understand what was happening. All I knew was that the pain was back, and I wanted it gone. I never wanted to feel that pain. But there it was, settle in my lower stomach, core and back, like an uninvited guest, just sitting, making me uncomfortable. Although, I was more in excruciating pain than uncomfortable could define.

The door open then closed and I heard a loud gasp and a shout. I didn't know anymore what was going on, just that I wanted the pain gone. I felt two pairs of hands on my arms and looked only to see my taicho had stepped back and one of the nurses from earlier, and captain Unohana, was lifting me.

"Please," I surprised myself by saying. "Please," I sobbed once more. I just wanted the pain to stop. I grabbed captain Unohana's Haori by the sleeve and looked her in the eyes. She had been the only one who had felt a hint of remorse before inflicting me pain. The only one who believed me. "Please," I begged her, "Make the pain stop." I sobbed. I never felt so low in my life, well at least in my life in Seretei.

"Matsumoto," she said as she looked at me, guilt in every syllable she uttered. "We made a mistake, ill explain later, but you need to relax, it'll feel better." She said, trying to sooth me. "I'm going to have to examine you, I think we need to inject you with a coagulant, I'm sorry."

Oh, now she asked me about 'examining me'. I didn't care though, that was but a passing though as pain was quickly taking over my thoughts, until it was all I could think about. "Please, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to," I sobbed more. I didn't know what I was saying; I just wanted this pain to stop, and to go home. I was begging her; she was trying to push me down onto the bed. Why wouldn't she make the pain stop?

"Matsumoto," Her voice cracked, "I'll make it stop, if you lay down for me, ok?" she said talking to me like a child.

I finally let her push me down on the bed, but shot back up when I saw the nurse pull out the stirrups again.

"No, no more," I was frantically shaking my head, "No more, n-" I choked on my sob.

" Hey, hey, it's ok," Unohana taicho whispered, "If you just lay and let me see, I'll try my best to make it stop. Ok?" she said with a soothing voice.

I nodded and lay back on the bed. My hands were shaking as the nurse strapped my feet in the stirrups. I was in so much pain that I was just writhing on the bed. Unohana taicho walked in between my held-up legs. I was still bleeding, I could feel it. I was a bit dizzy but the pain was keeping me as awake as I could be.

Unohana taicho looked behind me, at my captain, as if telling him it was ok. I felt his hand on my shoulder a moment later, but I moved.

"Make it stop," I sobbed again, which seemed to make Unohana move. She put on a pair of gloves and looked at the nurse.

"Give me the speculum." Unohana said. The nurse turned to look through some instruments and took out a packaged Item from the drawer of tools. Before she handed it to Unohana taicho, she removed the 'speculum' from its packaging. I started freaking out again once I saw how big the metal tool looked. It looked like it would cause more damage. But Unohana wouldn't hurt me would she. She promised she would make it stop. I was flinging my hands all over, grasping for nothing. I needed something to hold, anything.

I finally calmed a bit when I felt my taicho grab my hand. It didn't matter that he hated me. I was okay with it, at least for this moment. In this moment I would lie to myself, and pretend he didn't hate my very existence, because if I didn't, this pain would never stop.

"Shh," he soothed, " its ok," I grasped his haori with my other hand and buried my head in his chest. "Shh" he said again as he held me, his other arm blocking my view of what was going on, and his fingers brushing through my hair.

**Hitsugaya's POV **

My heart was breaking. What had I done? Matsumoto wouldn't even look at me in the eyes. I had tried touching her, to comfort her, to comfort me and help the guilt dissipate, but even then, she shrunk away from me.

I couldn't take it when she cried. She kept saying that she was all alone. I hoped she knew she wasn't. It was my entire fault. When they had accused her, I had stood back and watched her be humiliated. It was all because of blind rage caused by my jealousy. The thought of her letting _Gin Ichimaru _lay his hands on her, and pleasure her until she screamed his name, made my blood boil. But the thought of him making something as beautiful as life with Matsumoto, _my_ Matsumoto, made me see red.

I hadn't meant to make her feel unwanted.

I was brought back to reality by Unohana's words.

"This is going to hurt since your vaginal canal is so fragile right now, but I promise Matsumoto I will make the pain stop, just hold on ok."

I felt Matsumoto hold on to me tighter her hand squeezing mine, and the other clenching my haori tighter. I was stroking her hair, not only to soothe her, but to help me. I needed to touch her, after what I had done, and this was the first time she had allowed me to without shrinking back, I what I hoped was not fear. I was obstructing her view, trying to keep her as calm as she could be in this situation. I saw how flustered she had become when the stirrups were pulled into her view, and I would damn well do my best to keep her from anymore of this.

I saw Unohana take the 'speculum' from the nurse with her gloved hand, and after wiping some blood from Matsumoto's secret garden, push it in there. Then I could see no more than Unohana's concentrated face.

I heard a gasp from Matsumoto and felt her pull me closer. She was squeezing my hand with a ghastly strength, which only went to confirm how much pain she was in. I heard a small sob. I looked down and saw Matsumoto's eyes squeezed shut and a tear escape her eye, along with another sob.

"Shh," I said while I stroked her hair.

"Give me a coagulation injection." I heard Unohana say. The nurse moved from her spot, by Matsumoto's legs and pulled out a syringe from the drawer. I tensed and pulled Matsumoto closer.

In a second, I heard Matsumoto scream and pull me closer even. I looked at Unohana to yell at her, but she stood up and threw the empty syringe in a red bag. She then helped the nurse take Matsumoto out of the stirrups and said,

"All done Matsumoto, I will come in a bit to explain everything to you. I have to go to central 46 to report everything. Please, don't push yourself."

.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.' .'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.' .'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.' .'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.' .'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'

It had been a about thirty minutes, and still Mastumoto was In my arms. I didn't dare move, I fear she would pull away from me again.

But then Matsumoto pulled out of my arms.

"I'm sorry taicho, I did not mean to cause you inconvenience," she said, "I will put in more work at the office in return for your help." She finished.

I was appalled. Matsumoto wasn't just thanking me like usual, she was giving me something in return. Like people do strangers.

"Matsumoto, what are you saying, you don't have to do a thing. I was being your friend, it's my responsibility." I said with a frown. She still wouldn't look at me. Her head held down, as if in shame.

She didn't say anything for a long time. Just looked at the ground, where her blood had been until minutes earlier.

Finally she whispered in a broken voice, "Don't lie to me."

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A/N Okay, I know Matsumoto seems all vulnerable and soft and stuff in here, ( this story really), but come on, no one does it like this and I'm tired of Mastumoto being always happy like sunshine and rainbows. This will just be a phase. So hang with me.

Please review and tell me how I could make the next chapter better. I will probably update on Friday of Saturday. Most likely Friday.

Next chapter, maybe Matsu will tell Tosh why she wont look at him, maybe not, but most definitely a glimpse into her past…. The one I made for her.


	6. Don't want me

Don't Fool me Chapter 6.

A/N

Woooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh… Memory Chapter . Happy reading… to all.

Btw, I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. If I did, shit would go down between Matsumoto and Momo… Momo would die -.-

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Rangiku's POV.

"Don't lie to me." I tried to say but it came out as a broken whisper. The memories, they were coming back. Why were they coming back? I couldn't shove them to the back of my mind like I usually did. And so with as much force as I could muster, I pleaded with Kami to let me hold on until Tosh- My captain wasn't in the room anymore.

" Matsumoto," I heard him say, " What are you talking about?"

But I was too far gone

*_Flashback*_

_I didn't mean to. I hadn't meant to. Why were they looking at me like I did it on purpose. _

" _Please," I begged to the passing pedestrians. But no one stopped them. My father kept on kicking me, like I deserved he had said. _

_I knew they hated me, but no one would help me. I kept grunting with every kick. I was about a hundred percent sure my ribs were broken. _

_Had it been so bad that I was a girl? My mother hated me because I was a female when all my father wanted was another boy to make his fishing crew complete. My father, well , my father, I didn't know. He would beat me for all the things I did wrong. When I forgot to wash my brother's laundry, even though I apologized. When I couldn't walk fast enough to get home, from another beating, an missed curfew. And this time for dropping the vase of flowers I was carrying on my brother's foot. And although my brother, loving and patient, said it was ok, my parents were furious. _

" _I didn't mean too," I kept screaming. _

_My mother as usual had grabbed my brother and kept on walking. _

_I understood why my family hated me, that was my fault. What I couldn't grasp though was why the villagers hated me. why they gave me those hateful glares, like I was garbage and didn't belong. _

_Surprisingly, my father stopped. He spit on me, and with his deep gruff voice, said, _

"_Pick this crap, and you better be home before sunset." With that he turned and left. _

_It was hard to move. I couldn't move. Then I saw blood. So much of it. Coming out of my mouth. Oh, I realized, I was vomiting up blood. _

_I guess I brought this on o myself, I thought._

_And after a couple hours of just lying there , people passing by, looking, as usual, like I was garbage, I fell into a peaceful slumber. _

_When I woke up, I wasn't hurting anymore. I looked down to where my bruised ribs should have been showing, but a glint caught my attention. There was a broken chain on me… well more specifically my chest. I was so confused. When I looked up, I saw my body, my dead body, lying, in the rain, why was no one helping me. it was dark and my body was being loaded on a stretcher. My brother, with tears covering his face, was screaming for e to wake up. _

"_Ka-Kajato" I yelled, but he was still screaming at the body on the stretcher. " I didn't mean to," I started crying again, " I didn't mean to Kajato, don't leave me please." I kept yelling. But as the hours went by, he stopped crying, then left. I tried to follow him, but it seemed my soul wouldn't move from the spot I had died on. _

"_I know a place where good souls go," I heard a voice call behind me…_

"_I didn't mean to," I whimpered. _

"I didn't mean to" I yelled, suddenly napping back to reality. I looked up, and Captain Shunsui was standing over me. It seemed he had been shaking me for a while.

" I didn't mean to," I felt the tears fill up again. Shunsui had found my soul, screaming over and over again, on a street, and he had brought me to Soul society.

However, he did not know the full story. When he found me, I only kept repeating ' I didn't mean to', and when I did stop I hadn't talked, much to his dismay.

Pushing the tears back, I tried to think about how Hitsu- my captain, disappeared and Shunsui appeared, but I was so tired I couldn't bring myself to.

I didn't know how they could do this to me, but I didn't care anymore, I just wanted to go home.

"Matsumoto, are you o-" Shunsui-taicho started

"Take me home please." I interrupted him with my cold voice. I couldn't feel anymore. The pain was still there, between my legs, radiating up into my stomach and stopping just below my diaphragm. But inside, I felt empty. No, not quite… more, alone. I could not seem to grasp the reasons behind my worthlessness.

"o-of course." He stuttered.

I saw him try to put one arm under my knees and let him. Except, it seems I didn't as his arms retracted and my body gave a strong flinch.

"Matsumoto, I can get Hitsugay-"

"I am sorry, Shunsui Taicho, I am being inconsiderate, I will have a nurse give me crutches." I interrupted .I really didn't need anymore people hating me. I was pretty sure Shunsui was the only one left that had, and I would try my hardest not to burden him. I didn't want a repeat of my first century in soul society. I didn't want to be **completely **alone.

"Nurse, Nurse," I tried yelling, but my throat still hurt. The blue haired nurse came I and asked me if I needed any help. " I am sorry for burdening you, but would you mind getting me some crutches please." I asked in a low voice.

" Matsumoto-sama, I don't think that's a wise idea. You should stay off your feet for at least a couple days. I will have someone carry you if you want." She responded. I was about to shake my head, but her calm voice and smile stopped me, " not many people think so , but the fourth division has some strong members too."

" Yea, I guess," I said.

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I was sitting at home, on my futon. I had looking- no, staring at the beige wall made of wood. Thinking… yeah, thinking- or reminiscing.

When I first arrived in soul society, Shunsui taicho had left me, to go help more souls I would guess . I had just arrived to the destination my ticket (the one Shunsui had given me) depicted. _64_, it said. I walked and walked and when I finally reached North Rukongai 64, I was elated to find people. Shunsui had told me that in Rukongai, I would find a new family. Oh how wrong he had been.

I wandered all over the sector. At first it seemed nice. People tried to talk to me, but everytime, I would flinch, or whimper. It wasn't my fault to be honest. My body had become so accustomed to it, that at the slight visual of a fast movement, my muscles would tense and my whole body would jump. People got angry, and finally I realized where I was. The streets were dirty. In alleys, people would fight, even kill.

Starving… I remember starving. My stomach growled as if the noise would make me anymore aware about my hunger than I already was. My feet hurt, my head was spinning. I remember looking at the blue sky, sand flying everywhere. But it didn't matter that I couldn't see, because my vision was blurring up and in a few minutes I would cease to be.

And I did.

At least I thought I did. When I woke up, I was staring into… well, at eyelids. That pair of eyelids used to be what I looked forward to seeing. But he had left me. And here I was. Sitting on a futon. In too much pain to stand and get food. Stomach growling and legs aching. Staring at a beige wall that reminded me of the sand that had blinded me so long ago.

I was back. I would just cease to exist. No one wanted me, but I knew that. What I didn't know was why, and I finally gave up on that answer.

_I will work my hardest_, I thought, _I won't be a burden to anyone._

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**I swear … I have a good excuse.**

**So two Fridays ago, I turned on my laptop to finish this chapter, and it said fan error and just shut down.**

**Now, one I don't speack computer, and two, I DON'T SPEAK COMPUTER. **

**So I had to do a little research. And when I found out how to fix it, it took a while. So now that I have it back… I will write as many chapters as I can tonight and post. **


	7. Don't burden me

Don't fool me ch. 7

**Jumping straight into it. Btw, it you have a laptop, do not let the fan to collect dust. Clean regularly. **

**I don't own any of this because if I did some character, oh I don't know, who looks and talks exactly like me ( just throwing suggestions out there :P), would already be having Byakuya's babies. **

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**Hitsugaya's POV**

I was outside of her door. I had been trying to knock for the past day and a half. But now I felt an urgent _need._

I hadn't heard footsteps in all the time I had spent outside her door. I wasn't surprised the first day. In the first couple hours she was home I hoped she would tae it easy. I didn't want her to hurt anymore. And I most definitely didn't want her to hurt because of my selfishness. But as the gold of the sun touché the orange and green lands at sunset, became worried. I hadn't heard a peep. Not a footstep… surprisingly not a sake bottle… surprisingly not a thing.

It had now been about a day and a half since she has been home, and still not a sound.

I was pacing outside her quarters. I wanted to apologize more than ever and take care of her, the way I should have yesterday morning.

When I had tried, she'd told me not to lie to her. I was indeed confused, but not more so tan shocked. Matsumoto had never, ever second guessed me. Not in battle where her life was at stake. Not in front of central 46, which I had sadly done out of jealousy. Never. But now, she wasn't even giving me the benefit of the doubt. She just outright assumed I had been lying.

I had been ready to ask her, and came up with every possible argument I could to change her mind, when she just blinked out.

I had shaken her, yelled her name, and yelled for a nurse when Kyoraku came in. he told me he knew what was going on, and that he could handle it, whilst I had to report to central 46 with Unohana. Curious I had been, so much so, that I told him we would talk later. But right when I came back and found out Mastumoto had been taken home, I rushed here.

And in practically two days I hadn't heard a peep. All kinds of scenarios were going through my head. What if she couldn't get up to do what she needed? Was she in too much pain? What if she had fallen while trying to get p and ruptured herself again? What if she was bleeding out while he was being a wimp right outside her doo-?

I didn't even finish that thought as I froze the lock and broke the knob, walking into her unit.

I stepped in as soon as I could and started my search for her. I looked in the kitchen first, noticing no dirty dishes. Then I ran past the empty living quarter, and ran towards the room. Then as abruptly as I had ran in here, I stopped would she be upset if she was ok? I didn't want her to kick me out as I had many questions and words for her.

_Ah, again with all the questions,_ I thought. I turned the knob and pushed on the light door, the bamboo making a creaking sound as it opened a path wider and wider for me.

I saw her. Relief flooded through me. Then I looked at her, I looked closely. My muscles tensed tightly .She hadn't turned around. Maybe she didn't here me? How could she not, the door had made so much noise. And anyway, she would have seen me, seeing as she was sitting facing the door.

I realized that she was staring at something. No, she was staring at the beige wall. I heard her stomach and I finally felt my muscles relax just enough for me to move closer to her.

I kept my face emotionless, seeing as she had been affected negatively by my concern yesterday. I stopped when I realized that she hadn't looked at me since yesterday morning.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and squatted when I reached the futon Mastumoto was sitting on.

"Matsumoto?" I said in a low voice, making sure to keep a neutral tone as to not upset her again.

When she didn't move I grabbed her hand, which was loosely hanging off her knee. I saw her criss crossed legs tense, and she flinched. I immediately let go of her hand and looked to see if I had hurt her.

After establishing that I hadn't, I tried again.

"Matsu?" I called again.

She whimpered, but as I noticed, didn't look up at me.

"Does it hurt Matsumoto?" I asked. I had to lay my worries to rest first, then we could get to the questions. But when she nodded her head, my body tensed again.

"Have you eaten Matsumoto?" I asked.

"no." she whispered.

"No, b-" I was about to chide her, before I remembered that she was fragile right now. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath.

"Mastumoto, can you get up?" I felt like I was talking to a child.

" The medication wore off last night." She said, confirming his suspicions. He tensed even more. She was still in pain.

"I'll be right back ok." I said to her while making a checklist of what I would need.

I would need to shunpo to the nearest store and get her food since I couldn't cook and I was far from settling with her standing and cooking.

Then I would have to get to an apothecary for pain medicine. And last I would have to make a quick stop at the sixth division and ask Abarai Renji to look over my division for the day. I would need the whole day for Mastumoto. I would not neglect her again.

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"Mastumoto," I whispered as I shook her shoulders. It seemed she had fallen asleep in the uncomfortable position I had left her in.

"Mastumoto," I repeated, and finally she opened her eyes. Except, they were not looking at me, they were looking at what I had in hand.

"I brought you food." I said moving the bag of food toward her.

My eyes almost popped out of their sockets when she answered "no" and pushed the food back toward me. Something in my chest tightened. I had gotten her favorite, dried persimmon, but she had turned it down.

"Mastumoto, you need to eat." I said in clipped one. If she wasn't going to take care of herself, I would make sure I could until she was back in her mindset.

She reached behind her and lifted the flattened pillow on her futon. I watched as she pulled out a smack bad and opened it.

"I am sorry taicho, I did not mean to burden you," she said as she pulled out countless yens, of the pouch, shoving it toward me while still looking at the floor.

"Mastumoto, it was not a burden, you don't need to pay me, take this money back!" I said, raising my voice. What was she doing? Being so formal, as if we were strangers.

"Pl-please accept it," she responded, "I don't want to be a burden."

"No, Matsu-" I stopped when she looked up at me, finally. Her eyes, her beautiful blue eyes, which I hadn't seen in almost two days, were filled with hurt and fear. So much fear. She was pleading with me, begging me to take the money, all with one look in her eyes.

But I didn't want to. I wasn't a stranger, even an acquaintance, who she had to pay back for a deed. I was her taicho. I would always be there for her. There would never be a repeated of yesterday morning. Never, I had promised myself earlier.

"I can't," I whispered to her. I pick up the chopsticks and picked up a bit of the food. I lifted it to her lips and to my sheer disappointment her eyes were back on the floor. I sighed and kept pushing the food on her lips. When she opened her lips to let the food through, all I could think was _I think ill have to ask Abarai to run the department tomorrow too._

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I was woken up by a weird noise. I had stayed in Mastumoto's home considering I had broken her lock ( _the excuse I used when she accused herself of burdening me_). I got up from her couch, walking to her room.

_Clink…_

There it was again. Then it was quiet. I opened the door to find Mastumoto safely tucked into her futon.

As I was about to leave I noticed a pile on the floor. I moved closer to examine the suspicious stash of… well, of whatever it was.

When I got close enough to see, where the moonlight illuminated the left side of the room, I realized Mastumoto had left the stash of yen at the foot of her bed.

I sighed heavily.

_Abarai will definitely have to watch my division tomorrow. _

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**A/N yayyyyyyy.**

**Next chapter, hugggggggeeeeeeeeee. I take suggestions if you guys want, just don't ask me for any Hinamoru momo, ugggghhh.**

**Ill try to update tomorrow, but idk, I have a lab and two test to finish.**

**Love you guys. **

**Ps: to my followers: YOUUUU GUUUYYYYSSSSSSSS, thank you so much… don't stop with the comments.**


	8. Don't abuse me

Don't fool me ch. 8

**Hey….lets gets down to business… thank you guys so much for the reviews. You don't know how much I appreciate them. I loved the suggestion. I will incorporate it into this chapter. So next week I have a late start and a day of the Monday after that. So hopefully some major chizz is going to go down.**

**Ps. I don't own anything in bleach. Also, lots of Hinamori Momo hate in this chapter (I don't really lik- FINE don't look at me that way… I hate her) … careful.**

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**3****rd**** persons point of view**

It had been scary… no, terrifying. When Mastumoto woke up, to find herself home, she'd thought the whole ordeal had been a dream. That Hitsugaya did not betray her. That looking him in the eye did not bring her more dread than flouting her parents' instructions.

But just as she allowed herself to feel relief, her brain took on the responsibility of processing her pain. And just like that, the moment was gone. The moment where life was back to life with laughter and sake. Where even if she had lost Gin, she still had Toushiro. But it was all ripped away from her. Yes, Ignorance was bliss.

It had been scary… no, terrifying. When she thought she would never be able to face the world again. When she allowed herself to think, just for one moment, _would I have been better off if I had never met Gin and gone to the academy?_

Of course not, she would still be starving, or eating garbage rolled in dirt, if not dead. But what was the difference, she was all alone again. She was back on that dirt road, in Rukongai 64, trying with all her might to ignore the disgusted stares that normal souls would give her.

Suddenly, she was angry. She wasn't mad at Unohana-taicho, or even central 46. No, she was furious with her taicho.

How could he. How could he look at her with those eyes? She knew something was wrong with her; after all, no one wanted to carry a burden, and that's exactly what she was. But all in the same, she was his fukutaicho. In fact, she was the reason he was even a soul reaper. The job description required him to have her back damn it.

And then, rage burn through her as certain memories came afloat; Hinamori Momo, fukutaicho of the traitor of the soul society; _defender _of the destroyer of peace in Seretei. She remembered how vehemently her taicho had fought for the girl. How much he'd wanted to believe that the accusations were false, or that she could change. She remember how soft spoken he was with the little soul, how he had told her that it was ok. How he had stayed by her side for days, weeks after they had first been attacked.

She despised that girl. The real traitor was living among them while they prodded _her_ for treason.

Then, she remembered how long it took to convince her taicho of the treason of his slut of a fukutaicho.

She laughed bitterly. Barely a few, she recounted.

Obviously there was something wrong with her, but there was also something wrong with Hinamori, who she considered trash.

_I'm lower than trash, _she thought after a few seconds.

She felt nauseous. She decided to get up, get food, and get back into bed to sleep for the whole day. She planned on arriving to work early tomorrow. She would never again allow for anyone to have the pleasure of having a reason to not want her. She would never again allow herself to be a burden, and that she promised herself.

Easier said then done.

The minute she got up, or at least tried to, she fell back down immediately. The pain was there. She didn't know if it was real or in her head but she could feel it. After taking a deep breath, she got up again and sucked it up. She was wobbling from not using her legs for a couple days.

She stumbled all the way to her door and by the time se got there she could grab on to the small table that was propped against the beige wall. When she punched open the bamboo door, she was not expecting what she saw. Her taicho was still there. Better yet he was cooking in her kitchen. Wow, it hadn't even been thirty minutes since she promised it to herself and she was already being a burden. Guest did not cook for them.

She straightened her spine and tried to walk straight, but the pain seemed so much worse that she just hunched over again. Walking into the kitchen, she bowed and said:

"Morning taicho. I deeply regret not cooking for you and would gladly oblige if you would let me take over."

Oh, Hitsugaya Toushiro was more than furious when he heard her. he hadn't heard her utter his name in two whole days, and now she was talking to him the same way someone talked to a stranger they had invited in there home. He would not stand for this. He would apologize but he thought Mastumoto was being outrageous and overreacting.

_Women!_, he thought. He turned around to see her bowed and automatically stiffened. The last time she'd bowed to him was… she had never done it. When he'd been appointed captain of the tenth division, she had hugged him to the point where he almost died of asphyxiation. This was unacceptable.

"Mastumoto, you don't have to bow." He said, his face blank and his voice neutral, as usual. He was trying not to let her behavior get to him.

He watched her carefully as she straightened her body. He saw that she kept her pelvic hunched and soon realized that standing straight caused her pain.

"Mastumoto, I still have a small amount of the pain reliever, do you want it?" He asked her, hoping she would take it from him without a fight.

"No thank you taicho, I feel well today." She responded keeping her eyes trained on the floor. He did not let the title slip. His temper was like a string, and on one end she was pulling, with the title, and the politeness, and on the other he was scrutinizing himself for not being able to do anything right by her since two days ago. It was too tight, just moments away from snapping. He had been up early, very early. He had taken a trip to Momo's home to ask for advice. He hadn't said a word about the ordeal, just that he had hurt Mastumoto and that she wouldn't let him apologized, and was treating him like a total stranger . Momo had offered to stop by and talk to Mastumoto with him and he had accepted the offer. After all, last night's attempt was a failure. Of course the only thing he was thinking was that _If Momo is a women than maybe she'll understand Mastumoto… yes, __**genius.**_

He had decided to cook breakfast for all three of them, hoping the food would do Mastumoto good since she had practically eaten nothing with her medicine last night.

Oh how _great _that turned out. Here she was, treating him like a stranger, and not accepting his help. What pissed him off more, was that she was hiding from him her pain. Yes as a fukutaicho, it was encouraged not to show anyone your pain, to be strong and honorable. But taichos and close friends usually established a relationship in which pain was free to roam the corners. was she trying to say something? To tell him she no longer wanted him to care for her?

And just like that it snapped.

"Will you cut the crap," he yelled at her, shocking both him and her.

He saw her flinch and almost didn't here her whimper. _Almost._ He was about to apologize when he heard a knock on the door. Oh, his saving grace was here, and hopefully she would be able to get through to Mastumoto.

He made his way to the door and opened it letting the guest in.

Rangiku Mastumoto had never been so surprised in her life. Yes, when her father had beat her for coming home with a tear in her dress, or when an inhabitant of Rukongai 64 had thrown her out because she became hungry, she had been surprised. But this, this was new. No, not new, worst than before. That's what it felt like. Like not only would she be beat, she would be beat by someone who she had admired.

Her body seemed to remember the [literally] century old routine. It stiffened without her permission. Her mouth had clamped itself shut as if to keep her from screaming and for some reason, her arms were surrounding her ribcage. She knew the reason. People thought she held her breast that way to enhance their look. But that wasn't the case at all. She had loved the position. Her father would usually get tired of punching her and kick her instead, often aiming for her ribs. Of course on special occasions he would simply turn her around and use a bamboo stick. It was hard on her back, and painful enough so that not many strokes were needed to make the point, and without tiring his arms out too. Using her arms had been the only way she could protect herself.

She blinked back to reality to see her taicho gone and her body relaxed a bit.

But just as soon as it had it tensed up all over again… tenfold… hundredfold…

Her breathing became labored and she couldn't believe her eyes. Her heart was beating so fast it hurt. She didn't want to believe her eyes.

Well, looks like the bitch reared her ugly head.

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**Woooooooooaaaaahhh. Ok.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews. Don't worry, next chapter Mastumoto's little potty mouth will make an appearance. No more sad little Mastumoto… for now. **

**Also, I need to know if you guys like my writing in 3****rd**** person or 1****st**** person. I've been doing both and I think its annoying, so review and tell me. YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.**

**Next chapter is coming up soon, maybe today; I'm typing it right after posting this. **


	9. Don't hate me

Don't fool me ch.9…

So this chapter is… intense… good luck:

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**3****rd**** person's POV **

She did not know how to feel.

Was this normal? Was she supposed to feel so heartbroken at seeing somebody? surely no. But she did. She felt betrayed… well, as betrayed as someone no one cared for did. Why? Why did it always come down to _her_?

Mastumoto's eyes were blank. Giving away none of what she was feeling.

"Hello, Matsu-chan," Hinamori smiled at the stiff figure that was standing at the threshold, between a room and the kitchen.

Mastumoto said not a peep, wallowing in her anger like a wounded lioness, hurt, angry and more than ready to pounce. Her heart was beating to fast. She could hear the blood rushing to and from her head.

"It's not right not to answer someone Matsu-chan," the short girl said again. Next to her the towering Hitsugaya looked down and said,

"see?"

"Mastumoto, that is very disrespectful," _**Rush**_"Especially a captain, your captain." _**Rush**__ "_I don't know what he did to you but ignoring it and acting like a child is not the answer." _**Silence**__. _

Mastumoto heard nothing more. The words that were escaping Hinamori's mouth, trying to fly across the capacious room, were not able to reach her ears. The blood that had seemed so deafening earlier seemed to stop its travel. Her tense body heated up. She could feel it from her core. No, not where it hurt, no. It was burning her in the chest, like when her mother bathed her in burning hot water to scrub off the blood her father left , and her chest having the widest surface area, absorbed the heat.

Yes, it hurt. Everything hurt. Her brain, her stomach, her thighs, but most of all, her heart. She didn't know why it hurt so much.

Then her brain processed it. And for that moment, Mastumoto realized what it was. Not dislike, or hatred; no it was stronger than that. Like a stabbing pain that was there every time she looked at what she wanted to be. _Loved._ What did Hinamori do to deserve love? Nothing!

Nothing… Nothing to lose… No one to love… Nothing… Silence. Utter, complete, loathing silence.

"Leave." Mastumoto said," lifting her eyes to look into Hinamori's shocked ones. It seemed she had cut her off.

"Matsu-cha-"  
"If you utter my name once more I will shatter your throat." Mastumoto said, again interrupting. Her voice was so cold.

Hitsugaya had never heard such words from his lieutenant. So cold and filled with hatred, yet calm and collected they were. He knew she meant what she said. He stepped in front of Hinamori, towering in front of her, and put his hand on his zanpacto.

"Mastumoto, watch who you're talking to!" He said in a clipped voice. He was surprised to here her say,

"And you too." With a calm and cool voice, looking away from the pair and slowly sliding down the doorway until she was on the floor. She wasn't there. She was being bath by her mother, letting the hot scorching water consume her thoughts.

He grasped the hilt of Hyōrinmaru, and felt it pulse. He needed to listen.

'_The hatred, you need to be careful, her zanpacto will not survive the ice in her soul'_

Hitsugaya would listen, but he would have to be careful. He was upset with her. She had no right to say those things to a taicho or a fellow fukutaicho.

"Fukutaicho, know your place." He bit at her… she had no reason to act upset with Momo-chan.

"You need to calm down. There is no reason to act like a baby, get up." Hinamori said, taking a step toward the threat.

Mastumoto cocked her head to the side, as if not understanding, and then surprising her spectators said in a low voice, "Unare, Haineko."

Hitsugaya stiffened. He thought it was impossible, conjuring your shikai without eve touching your zanpacto. But the longer he looked the more ash filled his vision. No, it wasn't ash; it looked more like clumps of molten rock. The clumps kept spiraling in the air, hitting into each other, forming bigger balls of molten rock. It stopped forming and in the blink of an eye, hurdled toward Momo.

Hitsugaya jumped to action, using his zanpacto to freeze the hot ball. Hinamori seemed frozen, the sunlight was coming into the window, obscuring half of her features, but shock was clear n her face.

"Mastumoto!" he yelled. "What-" He began

"How dare you?" Mastumoto growled. Hitsugaya froze. What was she talking about?

"How dare you… walk into my house and tell me about my life." Mastumoto yelled. The molten ash of Haineko started melting the ice that surrounded it.

"Mastumoto, she was trying to help you." Hitsugaya raised his voice a bit.

Mastumoto laughed. Then she laughed some more. It was a dark and bitter laugh. "Help me? Help _me_?" she chuckled. "If I remember correctly, Hinamori Momo," she spat her name out, "was the love sick bitch who was lost without her traitor of a master… and what did she do?" Mastumoto asked, smiling and looking at Hinamori, watching her lips part and close, then part again. "She followed like the good little bitch that she is." Mastumoto smiled.

"Its ok though Hinamori, I was betray by my taicho too," Mastumoto said with empathy. The molten ash had now made a small hole in the ice. Hitsugaya stood frozen.

'_Let her speak'_ Hyōrinmaru spoke to him _'Do not interrupt yet'_

"You know, it's funny. You betrayed the society and yet they took you back in with open arms. You sulked for months while I worked my ass off to kill my brother," Mastumoto continued while laughing," Meanwhile, they" she laughed "loved" and shook "you." She stopped.

"Do you know how much I hate you _Hinamori Momo_?" she asked, looking at her for an honest answer.

Momo, with tears in her eyes, shook her head.

"More than I love my parents for killing me." Mastumoto said, shocking both the victim of her harsh words, and the bystander. "I hate you, because you – YOU- are nothing. You are trash, to me you are scum. You are a true traitor, one who does not expect to pay for her actions. And you haven't." Mastumoto yelled.

'_Not yet'_ Hyōrinmaru spoke to Hitsugaya. He didn't know how to feel. Now he understood. He had thought that Mastumoto had been overreacting. He-

"I _loath_ you because I am lower than you." Mastumoto spoke in a soft voice.

Hitsugaya's eyes were like saucers. Who had told her that? Surely he hadn't.

Suddenly, the ball of ice he had surrounding Haineko burst and just as the ash was about to touch Hinamori and possibly kill her, he heard _'now.'_

He didn't know how he knew; he just did what his instinct pushed him to do. He tightened his hands around the hilt of his sword and shunpoed. When he stopped, he was looking into Rangiku's eyes. He saw hatred, but suddenly it turned to fear, and panic. For that moment, the ash stopped and Mastumoto looked down. Hitsugaya used Hyōrinmaru and froze her torso, as if making a shield around it. All around her ribcage over her shoulders, on her back, ice was there. At first she tensed, and then she fainted.

"Momo, leave." Hitsugaya said without turning around.

"Shiro, what did you do? What did I do?" Hinamori asked panicked.

"Momo, if you don't leave now, that ash will consume you. Now go!"

He heard her footsteps and felt the ash dissipate. That hadn't been a zanpacto. Pure hatred, that's what Mastumoto was using. She had conjured it from the deepest place in her heart and if he didn't rid her of it, she would be consumed by it.

He picked Mastumoto up from the floor in the doorway.

" _do you know how much I hate you Hinamori Momo, more than I love my parents for killing me" _ That's what Mastumoto had said. He had never heard of this. No one in fact knew of her past, except for whatever involved Gin.

He would take her to his home, it was cold there, and it would be much harder for the hatred to take over.

Starting on his way, jumping rooftop to rooftop, he thought,

_Seems like Renji might have to take my duties again. Wow, that worked out well._

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''**A/N Did you like it… did ya? **

**Leave me a review please... Maybe a suggestion… I only got one last time, which I appreciated btw ( if your reading this, its your story, I just elaborate it) . I don't care if it's about my bad grammar, I just want to know what you think. Also Surprise…. You finally know the extent of my dislike for Momo. Anywho… I got school tomorrow. **

**Anyone else happy with the time change. **

**Review **

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**Love you guys – kagomekurosaki **


	10. Don't look at me

**Ch 10: Don't fool me.**

**Lets get down to business… beware , lots of anger.**

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**3****rd**** person POV**

Toushiro Hitsugaya, taicho of the tenth division of the Seretei Gotei 13, had never expected that the woman who had saved him, made him who he is, would also be the death of him… well, metaphorically anyway.

He was confused beyond confusion and if he hadn't stopped his fukutaicho about an hour ago, she would have killed Momo.

'_Mastumoto capable of slaughter should not worry you as much as this should' _Hyōrinmaru told him referring to the slowly melting ice he had put around Mastumoto's upper body.

He had been sitting on his couch for about an hour. It was now getting to be late morning. Since he had left Mastumoto's quarters he had been having a conversation with Hyōrinmaru. His zanpacto didn't know what was going on. He had heard Haineko crying, anguish and sorrow enveloped her aura. He'd told his Master that communication between non-conjured zanpactos was an occurrence he had never heard of, but that Haineko was calling him and he had heard her. He had told his master that when he tried to help the woman's zanpacto that he had almost burned; that he didn't know how, but he knew that the reaction his master had had was right. The ice around her torso seemed to have lessened the pain Haineko was feeling.

Hitsugaya heard Mastumoto moan and looked down at her. He had laid her down on a few thick blankets on the floor as to not wet his futon. She seemed to shift, but he couldn't tell; the ice was still thick around her.

'_She thinks she's in pain.' _He heard from his partner. _'Haineko thinks her master is reliving her past.'_

"Should I break the ice?" Hitsugaya said to himself, waiting for his zanpacto's answer. After a few minutes of silence Hyōrinmaru responded,

'_You need to right your wrong. Fast.'_

Hitsugaya was even more confused now, it seems his zanpacto knew what was wrong, and now he had to find out for himself.

Getting up, he moved behind his brown couch and into a small kitchen. He looked under his sink and grabbed a big white bowl which he filled with hot water. He then walked back to the living room, and laid the bowl by his fukutaicho's head. He moved back to the kitchen where he walked through a door that led to a corridor and he passed his bedroom and walked into his bathroom. It was big, considering his title.

He was soon back by Mastumoto's head, with the towel he had grabbed from the bathroom. He sat and looked down at her. He remembered how upset she had been about the touching a few days ago, but he needed some kind of contact.

He could usually get by, with all the hugging and her constant smiling presence at the office, but now that he had been deprived of that, eye and skin meeting, he felt like a starving man.

He grabbed Mastumoto's head and gently laid it in his lap, letting a relieved sigh escape his lips, like a man who hadn't slept in years and finally closed his eyes. Dipping the small towel in the hot water, he dissolved the ice around her, using his icy gifts, and touched it to her forehead. After all, she had been in ice for a bit and it would not please him if he had gotten her sick.

Slowly, he moved more of the towel onto her, spreading the hot water to heat her up. He touched it to her nose, her cheeks, around her lips, making sure to make the action was feather light. The taicho then moved it down her neck and stopped right above her collar bone. His icy nature had caused him to take many breaks in between the actions and he decided he should try again… _to warm her up _he thought, not mentioning his love for touching her.

He heard her moan again. Then he saw her open her eyes wide and draw a deep, panicked breath in.

When Rangiku awoke, she felt water, hot water, running on her. it had been a good feeling, but as she regained more consciousness she realized with much horror what that meant. Her mother had found her. She was back in the living world. Had dying been a dream. She hoped not, it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She didn't want to be back. She didn't want to, she couldn't stand anymore pain. She couldn't… she didn't.

"Mastumoto." Hitsugaya said with a soft voice. She kept panting. Maybe from the fact that she had been frozen and her lungs had been slowed. But then she wasn't breathing at all. Her breaths were ragged and disproportionate; not allowing any air in and letting too much out. She was hyperventilating, and he didn't know why.

"N-No more mama," she said, almost in a sob and between short breaths. "It's too hot, I don't – I can't, no. no more." She was shifting now, a lot, fighting to get away from the water. Hitsugaya immediately noticed and cooled the water down, just above freezing, dipped the cloth in and touched her forehead with it.

Almost immediately, her breathing slowed and she leaned into the icy cloth.

"Mastumoto?" he asked, coaxing her with the cold towel to move back into his lap.

"T-Taicho?" she said.

"You're okay now."

"It's better." She replied. He used the opportunity to bring it up.

"We need to talk…"

"I don't have a thing to say. I made myself clear." She said closing her eyes and nuzzling her head in his stomach.

"To Momo." He said.

"There's nothing I can say. If I could I wouldn't be here right now." he heard her muffled voice. He almost shivered when he felt her lips against the fabric of his uniform. He then thought about what she said and had no idea how to answer.

"Why am I like this?" he heard her say. "Did I do something?"

"What are you talking about Matsu-" he was interrupted by her soft, panic stricken features going numb. What had he said? What had he done? He went through the ordeal with Hinamori an hour ago and thought of what she had said.

Hitsugaya was not pleased to hear about Mastumoto's demise… well, however unusual it was for a soul.

"What has she got that I-"she stopped and took a deep breath, "That I don't?" She said, still numb looking him dully noted.

"Who?" he asked her

"Hinamori Momo," she whispered, her expressionless eyes tearing up. She was trying to hide, to hide her sorrow and her embarrassment. If it could be called embarrassment anymore. Now, she feared she knew why he'd had that look I his eyes.

"What do you mean?" He asked, truthfully confused. He was still slowly stroking the cloth up and down her cheeks, forehead and nose. He knew the cool- practically freezing- water was soothing her, and he loved that the icy creature in him, who had been rejected by everyone else, had found an admirer.

"What do I mean?" Mastumoto said disbelievingly but without any energy. "I'm not sure I have enough energy to go through that again."

And he knew what she meant. One, she hated Momo, two, he had betrayed her, and three, she hated herself. All of these crazy insinuations he hated she believed. He decided then and there to address this problem.

"Mastumoto, we need to talk." He said again.

"Talk." She whispered, still nuzzling her head in his uniform covered abdomen.

"Will you please look at me?" he asked, begging Kami that she wouldn't close off again. Just a few days ago she hadn't even courted the idea of talking and he wouldn't let his chance slip now.

"I can't" she said. She was tired. She didn't want to fight anymore. She was mad for sure, but she was hoping if he knew the truth, his disgust would drive him to leave her alone. She was already alone. Seeing him just reminded her how alone she was. And for once, she wanted him to just disappear, so she could be alone like she was meant to be.

"Why can't you?" He asked elated that she hadn't just avoided the subject.

"Because I don't want to see it again." She stated, and he could hear her emotions again. Fear.

"See what again?" he felt like he was interrogating her. But if that was his way of getting answers, he would carry through.

"That look you gave me. The one everyone gives me." she whimpered. He furrowed his brows.

"What look?"

"Like I'm disgusting. Like I am an animal who did something wrong." She was now pushing her face up against his abdomen.

"Rangiku, I never did that!" he tried to reason with her.

"Central 46." She whispered again. "You looked at me as if you didn't want to touch me. I do-don't know what I did wrong, but you do. What did I do?" she said. She sounded so vulnerable. And just like that he felt it. Like a stabbing pain in his heart. The guilt, the remorse he felt was choking him.

He remembered how he had felt disgusted because of the thought of Gin touching her; not of her. He remembered how she had begged for them to let her go, to believe her, but his ears were ringing with the voice of the officials; _Ichimaru Gin's child._ He remembered her squirming, and everyone watching her, strapped to that table, like an animal. He remembered the first scream, The way he had flinch at the sound of the pain.

"Mastumoto…" he didn't know what to say. "That isn't true. I am not disgusted with you." He said in the softest voice he could muster.

"That isn't true;" she scoffed "I am all alone. I hate when they lie. You are just like all of them. Just like _Gin_." She said. He choked. What had he done? He had turned beliefs into convictions.

"Mastumoto, I am right here. I won't ever leave you like Ichimaru did." He said vehemently.

"Why are you lying again?" Mastumoto asked with a cracking whisper. "Why won't you just tell me you don't want me? I know you are disgusted by what you see. I don't know what I did, but its okay if you feel repulsed by me." she said. He tried to interrupt but she kept going. "My parents didn't want me. Rukongai citizens didn't want me. Gin didn't want me. You-" she stopped, still hurt by the idea, took a breath and continued. "I don't know what's wrong with me. But ill find out. In the meantime I won't burden anyone with my presence." She finished.

She was cutting him; stabbing him. Every word she uttered showed him how broken she was; how broken he had made her. He needed to fix it. He had to tell her the truth.

"Mastumoto," he started, unsure of how to convince her. "I have never, nor will I ever be disgusted by you. I-" he stroked her hair, felt her tense then relax. He then coaxed head out of hiding from his abdomen, using the small towel and the cool water. He then put the towel down and picked her up by the shoulders. He pulled her body into his now taller one, tucking her into his arms. "I was disgusted at the idea of Ichimaru touching you intimately. I didn't mean to make you feel like this." He started stoking her hair again. "I'm so, so sorry I let them treat you like they did. I am so sorry I treated you like I did." He continued. "I promise, for as long as you let me, I will protect you."

Mastumoto felt something on her shoulder; something wet and hot and cold all at the same time.

"Just please, please…" he begged vehemently, "look at me." she heard him whisper. And she did. She turned round and when their eyes met she knew he meant it.

"But why didn't you do it before?" she asked breaking down in is arms. And he didn't have an answer; for now. He would tell her. very soon he would tell her. But now he just held her, and enjoyed the relief her gaze had brought him.

"I'm sorry." He said. He never wanted to let her go. And when she had calmed down, he did the unthinkable. He forgot to think first.

He lowered his head to the visible skin of her neck and let his lips lightly touch it. It was barely a touch, a ghost of one, but he felt her shiver. He pulled her away from him and looked into her eyes. He lowered his head once more and kissed the other side of he neck. This time making sure she felt it.

He let his tongue touch the skin. She shivered again.

He didn't want to stop even though his brain told him to. He wasn't going to stop.

**A/N **

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